Oh Snap
by Puhpuhpurrrr
Summary: "Makes me almost not blame him for leaving this world. Yet I do, because he left me."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or own any names. Just my plot.**

One snap. Two snap, three another makes four.

It's not as easy as it may seem to let go of someone from your past and move onto a so called "new life". The person still lingers in the back of your mind. You ponder they what ifs and what might or might not have happened. The little things remind you of the time you shared and sometimes the things you could have had more of. Maybe, just maybe if they mean so much it could send you into a psychotic whirlwind.

That's me. Sakura Haruno crazy girl who lost her boyfriend. In my opinion it is much easier to accept death when it comes naturally or maybe in an unexpected accident. Yet when it comes to someone purposely taking their own life. Choose death over living and being with the one who needs you the most. It can do bad things to you. It's done bad things to me. This explains why at this moment I am in this white plastered wall building to be examined by my new counselor.

Being here is honestly making me physically ill to my stomach. I won't dare sit in one of their plastic shares of "comfort". So I stick to leaning against the wall with annoyance stricken across my face. My mother who of course pushed me into this waiting patiently in her seat with a smile. She is my main reason of annoyance today. She took it upon herself to push me towards the "path of healing." I will admit that my boyfriend's death has changed me and has made me a bit more irrational. But I do not need healing. I am fine. I finally now see the world for what it is; money grubbers, cynic, and nosy bastards who can't keep to themselves. Makes me almost not blame him for leaving this world. Yet I do, because he left me.

My name is suddenly called so I look up to see a lady is a long hideous decorative dress with some kind of beads hanging around her neck. Great, I get the witch doctor. She calls my name again looking around the room trying to distinguish who I am. I entertain the idea of just standing there until my mother nudges me sharply. I swat her away and step forward. As soon as she spots me she shoots me the famous genuine fake smile. Key it to make it look as sincere as possible without really even caring. I would know. It's my trademark. But she's getting paid so why does she even have to really care? I don't care. And with that I slowly follow her into a tight spaced office filled with shelves of books, and memos of her life. She takes a seat behind her cluttered wooden desk as I stand lazily with my hands shoved down in my pockets at the door. I take a deep breath and step forward a little more and shove the door shut maybe a little too hard, but it makes her jump a little. Which in turns makes me smile.

"Well, Sakura. Take a seat will you?" She asks politely her nose buried into some file.

I stare at the chair in the middle of the room for a brief moment before walking up to it. I plop myself down in it taking my hands from my pockets. As I sit she turns her attention to me and just stares me down with her smile. I stare back with a bored expression and snap the rubber band on my wrist. Her eyes glance to my wrist then back to her file as she writes something down. Haven't said a word and I'm already being evaluated. What a joy. She once again looks back up at me and folds her hands into her lap.

And so the session begins…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or the show. Just my plot.

"Hello. My name is Dr. Irene." She politely says finally getting her nose out of I'm guessing my folder.

I shrug her off and stare at my shoes wishing in my head she would just disappear.

"So, Sakura..." She begins tapping the tip of pen lighting against the folder laid out in front of her.

I say nothing and look out the window focusing all my attention on the small blades of grass sprouting from the ground. We both just sit here silent for a moment her eyes resting upon me heavily making me want to squirm and hide away. She is analyzing me. She is trying to find a weak spot to attack so I'll just open up like a book. She doesn't want me to fight. No one does. They all just want to subdue to their demands and become "normal" again and "better". How can I go back to something that is gone? How can I resume my life I lived when such a big part is missing? Why can't they just understand…?

She breaks the silence "Sakura by looking at you I can tell this will be a hard time. Am I right?" She questions.

I still stay silent, but turn my gaze toward her. Her lips purse together and she gives a sigh. My fingertips find the small green band on my arm and slowly start to trace the outline. She keeps staring. I won't break and I won't crack. No one knows the things I've kept hidden inside. The secrets that I have been burdened with and must hold on to. The promises I made to keep the safe inside. No one knows. Not my parents, not my friends, and I will not tell this witch doctor with a staring problem.

"I keep waiting for you to talk. Or hoping you will. I can't fill up this session time with asking you to either. You don't have to talk, but your parents are paying me and I'd like their money not to go to waste." She explains making me shake my head in disgust.

So Dr. Irene is a money grubber. She preys on kids' minds and emptions claiming she will "fix" them for just a "small" fee. I'm sure she hasn't helped a kid in her damn life. Just put all that money away for a nice little condo somewhere tropical and listened as children cried their pain out to her. She probably didn't care a bit though. Just another whiney teenager to her with issues that mommy and daddy can't handle. I won't be that. I won't whine to her or cry to her. My pain is mine to bear and no one will hear of it, see it or know it.

"Sakura I want to help. Now, tell me. Why are you here?" She asks folding her hands into her lap and leaning back in her chair.

"I'm sure my mother has already told you why." I retort bitterly.

"Yes she has talked with me, but I want to know what you think. This is about you." Dr. Lee defends.

"I'm here because my parents can't handle me anymore. I think this is bullshit and you don't care about what I have to say. Whether I talk or not you get that paycheck so just shut up and stop acting like you can help me." I spit at her.

"Why can't your parents handle you?" She asks me ignoring my insult.

I sigh and look at the clock. I guess I got time to kill.

"We both know why. I'm crazy, emotional, and temperamental. Oh, wait isn't that most teenage girls? Guess we all need therapy." I answer my gaze drifting to the window. 

"Well, what makes you this way?" I just shrug my shoulders.

"Sakura you do know. Your mother told me about him. About Sasori." The Dr. replies.

My eyes flick towards and I snarl. She looks at me with a little smile upon her face knowing she hit the nerve. That stupid bitch. How dare she! It's not her business. It's no ones. No one should peak his name, but me. None of them are worthy of it. I bawl my fist up digging my nails into my palm. I won't sit here and take this. I won't be tortured into spilling my guts. She can't do it.

"I'm done." I hiss at her rising from my seat.

"Sakura. You can't be helped if you don't open up. I know it hurts, but you need to talk about him." She pleads.

"You don't know a damn thing about me or about him! You don't know about the pain or the hurt! Shut up!" I scream at her reciting the urge to stomp over there and beat the shit out of her.

"If you just.." She begins, but I just turn away and stomp over to the door throwing it open.

My mother sees me and jumps up with a scared look in her eyes. I scowl at her and walk away. They are all stupid. Ignorant fools that think they can understand me. No one knows, they need to stop acting like they do. I reach my mother's car and slam my fist into it leashing the anger inside. Why can't they all just die? It's not fair how my parents are alive in this world. How everyone is alive in this world happy and blissful, but has not he's gone. He deserves life more than anyone I know. I hate them. I hate them all.

"Sakura…?" My mother says as she walks up to the car staring at me with disappointment.

I pull on the car handle and she unlocks it. I slide in and slam the door forcefully. She joins me and starts the car.

"Honey we need to talk about your outburst." My mother whines to me as we start our way home. I say nothing and stare at the road ahead on her.

"Sakura please." She begs making me want to scream.

Every word she says makes me angry. The sound of her voice pisses me off. The pathetic whining that she so often does makes me want to hit her. She's disgusting. I shake my head and slowly breathe trying to calm myself before we get home. Dad would kill me if I came home like this. I can't take another yelling from him like he is some badass that will make me do whatever he wants.

"Sakura talk to me!" My mother demands as she parks the car.

I just throw open the door ready to get out. She hastily grabs my arm asking me look over at her.

"Sakura it's not healthy how you are acting! I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you destroying your whole life, your family for a boy who wasn't fit for anyone. He had problems Sakura. He was a ticking time bomb and didn't deserve your time. I know it hurts, but you need to see he was just some mentally ill boy who is better off dead." She lectures me angrily.

Before I think I throw my hand out connecting with my mother's cheek. Silence is followed as she brings her own hand to the red mark on her face. I just hit her. I really did, but how dare she those things to me? I loved him with every fiber in my being. He loved me. I don't care how mad I make her she won't speak about him like that. It's cruel. She's cruel. That's why she is better off dead.

"Sakura…" She whispers tears coming into her hearts.

"Make me go to a therapist. Try to get me to talk. None of it will fix my hatred you that? I fucking hate you!" I scream at her before getting out and going in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters. Just my plot.**

**Sorry for spelling errors I didn't go re read before I posted. I'll do better this time with that.**

**Some info: The italics are flashbacks from when Sasori was alive so you can get a better feeling of what he was like to her.**

I throw open my room door anger boiling up in the pit of my stomach. I want to lash out and destroy everything in sight. Just take it all.

"Sakura!" My mother yells from the hall.

I just slam my room door in response. I can't think anything that I haven't already thought. My hatred and anger dear mind you have heard it all. So, what is left to say? Fuck it, fuck it all to hell.

I sigh and look down at my hands. I notice the small moon shared cuts my nails made from earlier. I rub at the dried blood and huff as it doesn't want to come off. I make my way into my adjacent bathroom and slam that door too. Maybe after this they won't make me go to therapy anymore. Maybe they'll just see it makes me worse. I roll my eyes at my wishful thinking and turn the faucet on. I stick my hand into the water and slowly wash the blood away. After I have finished I look up into the mirror at myself and cringe. The bundle of pink hair tied atop my head and too small green eyes that will never match. Honestly when did go think green and pink make a perfect combination? Sick bastard he is.

I undo the tie in my hair and let it cascade down my back. I hate it, but he always loved it. Use to tell me to be proud of it. Told me I was different in such a beautiful way. First time he ran his fingers through it and demanded I keep it down. I can still smell the grass and feel the wind blowing gently. He made me feel amazing.

"_Sasori do you think I'll ever be an artist one day?" I ask seriously looking up from my sketch and into the eyes of the wonderful man lying next to me._

"_Of course. All good artist start out in parks." He says playfully._

_I shove him gently and sit up from the grass._

"_I'm serious." I say pulling away as he reaches out for me._

_He sighs and lies with his arms across his face not saying a word._

"_Sasorii!" I whine tugging on his shirt, but only receive silence._

_I give up and gently trace the outlines of his muscles through his shirt. No man could ever be so beautiful. My fingers wander to his dark red locks slowly petting them. I flick his arm so I can see his face, but he doesn't budge. I whine a little and suddenly he just reaches up and pulls me down to him. His face so close to mine and I am completely breathless. The things this man can make me feel._

"_Sakura wear your hair down now." He says demandingly._

_I scoff and try to get up. He just wraps his arms tight around me and hastily reaches up to pull the tie from my hair letting fall over the both of us._

"_It's so beautiful and rare. Who wouldn't love the color as a flower for their hair?" He asks me slowly running his fingers through my hair._

"_Me." I retort laying my head against his chest._

_I feel so safe and wanted. Like this is where I belong. With him in this time and nothing will ever make me want to leave this. I'm just a kid, but I love him. The words parents hate to hear and guys fear. But more than anything I love this man. How could I even begin to express this to him? I better not. He'll run from me. Just like they all have. I have to keep him. Make him stay._

"_I'm serious Sakura." He murmurs in my ear kissing it lightly._

"_About what?" I ask bringing miser from my thoughts._

"_Your hair. You are so different looking, but in such a beautiful way." He explains before claiming my lips for a kiss greedily._

"_Do you understand me?" He asks me a little more forcefully making me cringe a little, but that's just Sasori for you._

He was my heaven, my safe place, and my happiness on earth. Now he's gone and I'm left a shell of a person anger in my heart and no place to go. I slam my fist into the counter of the sink and fall to the tile floor. I'm so tired and hurt. I just don't want to hold it back so I let the tears form, then let them fall down my face until I sobbing into my arms praying for a miracle that this is all a bad dream and that I'm not broken inside.

My mother's calls echo I my head, but I ignore them. I'm tired. I hear her coming, but refuse to get up. It's too much work to face them. So, I lie down and curl up closing my eyes as the tears slowly cease and I'm left with an aching pain deep in my chest.

"I love you so much, please come back." I whisper to myself before falling into a slumber.


End file.
